Which Alien Abduction Was That?

Labour Day weekend here in Canada was… interesting.  There were more eccentric characters than usual wandering around my bookstore, and some excellent stories they made, too.

  1. Do you have any books about that alien abduction two days ago?  The first thing to do here is not to look like you think this is a weird question.  Also, try to refrain from making comments like “The one two days ago?  No, sorry.  Three days ago, no problem, but not two.”  They’re fun to think up later, though.  Also, apparently aliens have the ability to publish books and then send them back in time.  If so, I would like them to take over the third book of the Divergent series, and anything by Terry Pratchett, Guy Gavriel Kay, Mercedes Lackey… no more waiting for books!
  2. They’re monitoring everything from an RFID chip in your underwear.  It’s Walmart doing it.  If you don’t believe me, the proof is on YouTube.  Okay, first of all, why are you still shopping at Walmart, then?  Secondly, frankly, I didn’t need to know you were commando.  And don’t even get me started on “proof on YouTube.”
  3. How to have sex like a lesbian, if you’re a man.  What’s actually more surprising is I found a book for him to order.
  4. The CEO of my bookstore chain is behind the local movie theatre shutting down.  Right, that’s what CEO’s do in their spare time, go around conspiring to close down random movie theatres.  Also, it’s more likely the $16 movie tickets.

So you’re up to date on the new hot releases – or at least ones I noticed:

No Easy Day by Mark “no longer anonymous” Owen
Thank you to whichever publishing staff member pointed out that launching this autobiography about killing Osama Bin Laden on September 11th as a marketing ploy might not be such a great idea.

Diary of a Submissive by Sophie Morgan

Non-fiction, cashing in on the Fifty Shades phenomenon. I’m guessing she didn’t send Grandma a copy.

The third in the I Am Number Four teen series by Pittacus Lore, who managed to turn his embarrassing outing as a fraud in non-fiction into a successful career as a fiction writer.

The Long Earth by Terry Pratchett and Stephen Baxter

This involves Terry Pratchett, therefore I am currently reading it. So far, as a writing duo, they’re pretty great. Plus, it involves travel through parallel universes, via potato. Why would you not read it?  I will also mention that while reading it, I have also read Nation (an amazing, amazing YA book which you should read immediately) and Men At Arms, both by Terry Pratchett, on my Kobo.  I think I have a problem.


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