I’m all for being open-minded, and trying to not be judgemental about other people’s sexual tastes. To my mind, however, Fifty Shades of Grey is not a healthy book. My understanding of BDSM is that it is, in many ways, about trust. There are safe words. It is consensual. There is always a way to say no. And it stops outside the bedroom.
Not in Fifty Shades of Grey.
The man in the books has controlling, violent tendencies. Not just in bed, but out of it too. He is verbally abusive. He is physically abusive. He ignores it when the ‘heroine’ says no. His behavior is excused because of his traumatic childhood.
To me, this is an abusive relationship. It’s not sexy. He’s not hot. He’s dangerous, and if it was real life I would be urging her to get the hell out. Being controlling and manipulative does not make him an irresistable alpha male, it makes him an asshole. I will include a link to another blog, Fifty Shades of Suck, to give you an idea of just how disturbing it is. Warning: this material contains text from the novel, and is explicit. Fifty Shades of Suck
The female character is spineless, whiny, and talks about her “inner goddess” who does pirouettes, apparently. The writing is terrible. But even if those weren’t true, I cannot like any book that makes abusive relationships “hot”. Period.